Social change

New blog

2009-01-14T21:57:00.001+08:00

Hi - I've migrated to leonalo.wordpress.com. I no longer maintain my personal website www.leonalo.com, but you can still email me at leona@leonalo.com.

Happy new year!
Leona

Love, Give Us A Chance

2008-12-03T21:46:00.003+08:00

I know I have signed off, but before doing that, I have to relate my experience today. I won't go into too much details as the lady in question has agreed to write briefly about her life experiences. As I was walking along Orchard Road - a rare sight you may say - someone grabbed my arm and said she was glad to see me. She turned out to be a trans woman who had written to me some months ago to encourage me to press on. We stopped by the IndoChine cafe for drinks and we had a brief but in-depth discussion. I have never felt much of a connection to local trans women before - that said, I do not have many local trans women contacts - but her story and experiences really touched me, especially when she related how her father used to flog her until she bled, and her grandmother would drag her to a corner and try to soothe her pain away, while consoling, "It's ok to want to be a girl, just be a morally upright girl." That was the turning point for her and she stopped parading at Changi village. Every year, this lady would visit her grandma's grave in Malaysia, and each visit would be particularly poignant because when the latter passed away, this lady's mother refused to let her attend the funeral because of the "state she was in".

If you are a trans woman reading my blog, and if you need the strength to carry on, then think of the one person who was the kindest to you when you were down, and let this person's kindess give you the strength and belief to carry on.

You are good enough now.

You are strong enough now.

You are courageous enough now.

Carry on magnificently and beautifully.

Merry X'mas!

Leona

Break

2008-11-30T20:30:00.002+08:00

Dear readers

I'm taking a short break from leonalo.com and the associations of being a transsexual woman to find myself again. I just want to be Leona in the month ahead. I will be back in the new year with glad tidings.

I wish you all a warm and happy Christmas
Leona

Beautiful or ugly?

2008-11-24T21:21:00.002+08:00

If we want to see beauty in something, all we can see is beauty. If we want to see ugliness in something, all we can see is ugliness. The way we see and experience things boils down to personal choice. Would I make a good mother? I don't know. Because I can't be sure that I will always see the good in people, and the beauty in this world, I'm not sure I will make a good mother. I'm not sure I can pass the right "perspective" to my child. Because sometimes, sometimes I don't see my own beauty. I don't always stand up and walk away when people say shockingly appalling things, like when one of my closest friends said gay men shouldn't be allowed to adopt children because they may abuse the kids, and another joked about how the kid would address his fathers...their remarks were callous and spine-chilling, because, who knows what they may think about me, about my own "right" to adopt. And so the world is a confusing, vexing place, because your friends harbour prejudices too, and when these are exposed, do you still choose to see the beauty in them, or recognise ugliness for what it is and call it by its name? There are no easy answers in this world. Yet perhaps it is only in moments like this, that we are closest to God and our beating heart, and we remember that we too, are fallible, and others too, have chosen to see the beauty in us, at some crucial moment in our lives.

I love the diversity of our multi-coloured world - do you?

2008-11-24T07:53:00.005+08:00

In Fanny Flagg's Welcome to the World, Baby Girl, the lead character Dena Nordstrom discovers in a shocking plot twist her Negro heritage, and finally realises why her mum mysteriously disappeared so many decades ago. In the
1940s-1960s, there were vast pockets of discrimination in America and Europe against individuals with even one-sixteenth of "Negro" in their blood. And once you had "Negro" stamped on your documents, doors were slammed shut in your face. Dena's young, prodigiously talented brother was "outed" by a black columnist and was thereafter shunned by the music community. He ended up desperate and destitute, with his life in tatters. In order to protect Dena, her mum fled Europe to America where she raised the girl in stealth, before being "outed" herself.

Like Dena's ancestors, transsexual women today have to choose between living in stealth and asserting their identities. Many doors have been shut in my face since I "outed" myself as a trans woman. But at least, I do not feel impotent and helpless when trans women are bullied. I can stand up for myself, ourselves - and even if my actions do not bear any fruit, at least our voices are heard. To be able to make a stand, to live and breathe in your own true skin, that's what being alive means. And we don't just stand up for ourselves. We stand up for other oppressed people too. So when yesterday, some close friends of mine said the most appalling things about gay couples - that they should not be allowed to adopt children because they will only abuse the kids - I chose to stand up and walk out on them.

Leona

Transphobia on the Big Screen

2008-11-13T14:28:00.003+08:00

Henceforth, all transsexual women should be portrayed positively on the big screen - true or false? I would replace "positively" with "sensitively". By "sensitive", I mean in such a way as to reflect their difficult social circumstances, and to avoid entrenching already pervasive stereotypes of the trans community. The Tamil film industry's portrayal of trans women leaves much to be desired. Here's why

Reverse the Tide of Fetishisation

2008-11-12T10:16:00.003+08:00

Shemales, Tranny, Ladyboys - these are invectives flung about by hate-filled individuals, mostly men, to flay and dehumanise transsexual women. It does not help that disproportionate numbers of trans women are in the sex and porn industry, compared to their non-trans counterparts. In Singapore, Orchard Towers and Changi Village are considered "rites of passage" for trans women. Our Road to Santiago? No way.

Make a stand today against the porn industry and the sex trade. In Singapore at least, there is no excuse for turning to prostitution. If you need me to write a letter to or contact a potential employer to clarify your situation, I will help you.

Ours is already a difficult journey - don't make it more difficult. The next time someone - and this could be your friend, relative or casual acquaintance - starts to make the trite association between trans women and the entertainment industry, do not sit there and just smile. Stand up for who you are - a wonderful being who lives her life with pride and dignity.

Love & Relationships Video - Refilming required

2008-11-05T10:42:00.003+08:00

Greetings! The Love & Relationships video needs to be refilmed as it's grainy and there's lots of background noise. So please bear with us as we redo the video. I feel it's a very important and useful video so watch this space!

Love & Relationships

2008-11-04T22:59:00.000+08:00

When I was transitioning I didn't have the benefit of someone sharing with me the pitfalls of love and relationships because people did not believe I had a right to "love" a man. Well, I've got news for you. You're perfect as you are and you deserve love and marital bliss like any other woman. The key is to keep an open mind, let go when you have to, and learn to recognise the different categories of men. Good luck! And thanks to E. for filming this!

Following your own heart

2008-11-03T06:59:00.002+08:00

I am often asked, why I'm not wealthy, given my "intelligence" and why I'm not in a nice relationship.

And my answer to this question is: I'm not that intelligent, but I follow my own heart, which leads me to unexpected places. Sometimes I feel intensely alone and depressed, like today, but this is also when I call on God the loudest. And I know He is not far away, which gives me incredible strength and courage to go on following my own heart.

Sometimes I don't follow my own heart because I'm afraid that God will not deliver, and this is when I stumble, sometimes so terribly that I don't have the tears to define the pain, but I always find my way back with God's help.

And so, if you ask me, do I believe in God, do I have a religion, I will say yes, I believe in God, but I don't have a religion. I have a spiritual relationship with God.

New video - Love & Relationships

2008-11-02T21:34:00.003+08:00

I will film a new motivational video tomorrow on "Love & Relationships" that I'm terribly excited about because it will coalesce my personal experience on the subject. The aim of the video is to motivate women in general to follow their "personal legend" and be true to themselves. Both transsexual and non-transsexual women can benefit from the video. It will also help men gain useful insights into the transsexual condition - and how their reactions to and treatment of trans women reflects their own characters, hang-ups (if any) and upbringing. Watch this space.

I would appreciate it if you could post your feedback regarding the videos on youtube. Your feedback will help me shape the new book I'm working on.

Thank you!

High Stakes Courtroom Drama Retraced at www.thepumproom.com

2008-11-01T16:38:00.002+08:00

Alcohol, interior design and a tranny. The high-stakes courtroom drama involving the Pump Room and Poole Associates will be played out at the Supreme Court on Monday, 3 November 08. Log on to www.thepumproom.com for the details. Do not be surprised to see this "ladyboy's" appearance on the website.

Love

2008-11-01T09:19:00.004+08:00

This blog is about social change and how we can bring about effective social change through peaceful means. "Love" somehow doesn't seem an appropriate topic for the blog, and yet "love" is truly that one great emotion that can stir me to action. Because of love, my restful sleep is disrupted. Because of love, I feel hopeful. Because of love, I can run 15 km without feeling exhausted. And yet in my chequered past, most of my relationships have been failures - what makes me continue to believe in "love"? Because there is no other way. Denying that I need and want to feel loved would turn me into a cold, bitter person. And I've seen how, through it all, I've grown as a person. I've accepted my physical and character flaws, and worked to refine the latter. I've also discovered that it's ok - and in fact better for everyone - to be who I am and to do what I love to do, than to compromise in the hope that love would run to me sooner. By this, I mean continue to embellish my website, continue to give motivational talks, continue to run long distances competitively, continue to grow my mosaic art box, continue to windsurf into the sunset. I don't have to change myself to fit into a box of the "picture perfect" woman. I think I'm more lovable like this. Although I will still try to remove my tummy fat...

Sex

2008-10-31T10:15:00.003+08:00

Sex. For too long it has been a "taboo" subject for transsexual women. As a result, we have been subjected to either caricaturisation in the mainstream media or prurient debates on our body parts. Some of us have gone to the extreme of pandering to voyeuristic stereotypes of the tranny performer, playing to the hype of the transgender goddess, while others have fallen prey to tranny chasers who enjoy the secret thrill of having sex with a strikingly tall and attractive transsexual. Regardless of the approach - the end result is the same: we have been ruthlessly and relentless exploited to fulfil the warped sexual fantasies of men.

Sex. We too crave sexual fulfilment. And it's time for us to be fulfilled on our terms. I don't know who you are or where you are, but it's ok to have sexual desires. it's ok to want to look attractive. Sex is only "dirty" when they say you shouldn't enjoy it on your terms.

I Am - Pump Room Incident & Various Reflections

2008-10-27T20:05:00.002+08:00

Fear is borne of ignorance. Anger merely fuels fear. Forgive and forget means exactly that - forgive and don't remember anymore. Forgiveness is something that I struggle with a lot. But it's this struggle that makes us so human. Don't let anyone tell you it's wrong to struggle with issues. And I continue to find it amazing that so many people in positions of power continue to try to dehumanise us, when we are the ones who struggle so much, against all odds, to be who we are. Sometimes, I just laugh it all off. Humour is a great remedy. Just laugh it all off when you can't take it anymore. If you can cry and laugh at the same time, you're very human indeed.

Scientists Find Gene for Transsexual Experience

2008-10-27T18:30:00.002+08:00

This is interesting news indeed - nonetheless, even if there were no such genes, transsexuals don't have to justify their right to be to anyone.

Design your own website

2008-10-27T08:15:00.002+08:00

I use Ewisoft to build my own web-site in one-two-three easy steps. I used to struggle with complicated programmes and software which made website designing a nightmare for a technologically challenged person like me!

Try Ewisoft here:

I Am - Life & Times

2008-10-26T06:58:00.002+08:00

This is the first of two clips that most effectively summarise some of the angst of growing up as a transsexual in Singapore. This clip covers the social, emotional and professional aspects of my life,and I'm glad to say I'm nearly there in terms of finding my equilibrium and coming to terms with myself. Enjoy the clip!

leonalo.com is up again

2008-10-25T14:30:00.003+08:00

There have been a number of problems with leonalo.com, but I'm pleased to say the website is up again. I will be adding many more pages to the website. Thank you for your support!

The Rosa Parks Story

2008-10-24T11:26:00.004+08:00

As I explained during the talk, I have always drawn my inspiration from the Rosa Parks story, and I have always held feisty African American heroines like Rosa Parks and Sojourner Truth as shining examples of women who fought for their rights with great strength of character, courage and dignity. Women like them are rare today because our minds and spirits have been numbed by the crass commercialism that has swept through the world. How tragic that one's mettle only shines through when one loses money in investments underwritten by Lehmen brothers!

Let's celebrate the spirit of Rosa Parks and her black sisters with this clip!

Part II

2008-10-24T00:49:00.002+08:00

I Am - Motivational Talk

2008-10-23T18:13:00.003+08:00

Many thanks to Eileena from Pelangi Pride Centre for organising the talk, Yvonne for filming and Kelvin for the video camera. Special thanks to DYMK (Does Your Mother Know) for hosting the event. And to all who attended - thanks for being there. This is the first of a series of videos which will also be posted on youtube. I should remember to blink less, but what's important here is, a positive portrayal of a transsexual woman's voice in Singapore.

Trans-friendly psychiatrists

2008-10-18T18:00:00.001+08:00

My memory is failing me - can my dear readers please recommend me some trans-friendly psychiatrists? Thank you!

Thank you

2008-10-12T20:33:00.002+08:00

A big thank you to all who attended the talk yesterday. I was rambling on most of the time, but I hope you took away some new and important insights.

While I tend not to engage with individuals on a one-to-one basis post-event, I will make an exception for Nancy, the kind and wonderful lady who is grappling with her son's gender identity conflict.

There are also some individuals whom I feel need counselling at a deeper level than some psychiatrists here in Singapore are able to provide. I am definitely not qualified to "help" any of you who fit into this category. I would suggest the excellent Dr Pamela Chan from Camden Medical Centre for a start.

I wish all of you a wonderful, blessed future!

Best Regards
Leona

I Am - Motivational Talk

2008-10-05T21:07:00.001+08:00

I will hold a motivational talk "I Am", hosted by the Pelangi Pride Centre, in October. Details are given below. I regret I will not be able to give private one-to-one advice via email or any other media for now, so the best thing to do is to mark your diary and come down for the talk.

Event: "I Am" by Leona Lo
Date: Saturday, 11th October 2008
Time: 4pm
Venue: Pelangi Pride Centre
For more information, please email -
pelangipridecentre@yahoo.com